The 30 Pieces

#30dayswritingchallenge that explains some things about myself and what I have in mind.

I assign myself to this #30dayswritingchallenge! I wrote about all of the challenges, but due to some reasons, I did not post all of it.

Anyway, I don’t know who the original creator of this picture and challenge list is. Please let me know if you do.

So, here I go.

Day 1: describe your personality

I have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test several times, and it seemed to give me one absolute answer: INFJ, stands for Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. Well, I have ever gotten ENFJ once (E for Extrovert, which makes me think that I am actually an ambivert) but let’s just let it pass since I believe being an introvert or extrovert sometimes is just a matter of tendency.

I am basically an introvert. If you have ever found me not, it was probably me being a pseudo-extrovert. I tend to have a strong gut-feeling. Let’s just say that I am better with my intuition than with my logic. For judging, well, I do judge. Most of the times I just process my own judgement inside my head and keep it stays in an appropriate level.

Day 2: things that make you happy

I realize that happiness does not always have to be something big — it can come from small moments like:

• having deep conversations about life and all, and laugh it out with my beloved friends
• abundantly kissing and hugging my cat even though he seems to clearly hate it
• watching The Superman Returns or Grey’s Anatomy or Korean dramas
• meeting new people, particularly the ones who energize me
• finding that my cooking is succulent enough for myself that I can devour it

Don’t forget to find and feel happiness in whatever you do!

Day 4: places you want to visit

If we are talking about certain country to travel, I would say: Switzerland! I am very fond of greenery, highs, mountains (but have never been brave enough to do hiking), and fresh air. Now imagine you are walking in the middle of Alpine pasture with the sight of mountains where cows are moo-ing and chewing grass here and there. And oh, do not forget about that mountain coaster. I surely will shout my heart out when I get the chance to ride it. For the alternative, I’d pick New Zealand. Someday. Perhaps, someday.

Day 5: your parents

My parents are just an ordinary human, but they are everything. I have never said this to them nor they have ever said this to me or my siblings. Love is not something we easily express, yet I know that they always send us the greatest love parents can give: relentless prayers. They are the ones who got me believe that prayers are the most serene form of hope because we are hoping something good for the people we cherish through God. They are the reason why I am here today and why I will keep giving my best in whatever I do. I always pray that they will live a long and happy life, no matter how hard it can get.

Day 6: single and happy

I remember one moment. I have a somewhat doppelganger in my workplace that everybody who does not know us well tends to misrecognize us. One day when I was walking my way to go back home, there was a senior who mistaken me as my doppelganger. I said I am not her. Then he said: “Oh, right. She’s the happier one”. I asked why it had to be like that. He replied: “She’s married”. I then realized that I did not have to waste my time on him so I went on and let it go.

The thing is, people, you can be single and happy, single and not happy, not single and happy, or not single and not happy. Think of it like the four quadrants you may experience interchangeably. I believe being happy doesn’t require a certain status. On top of that, happy is an emotion. It fluctuates. It is basically attached to moments, to actions; not to certain status. I believe people who have ever been in any kind of relationship do not spend every seconds and every moments in happiness. It is not all about rainbows and unicorns after all, even though we know that it is worth it. All the happy feeling we got when we are ‘not single’ does not make a ‘single’ person cannot afford happiness.

I suppose world will be a better place if people do not think the way my senior did. Even if we do, keeping it for ourselves will still be better.

Day 8: the power of music

Music means so much to me. It is part of my day —thus, my life. What I am listening to practically represents my current mood, or at least shows the vibes that I am in. It is in whatever feeling I have in the moment: happy, sad, energetic, down, confident, disappointed, and all. I enjoy pop and country genres. I also listen to classical music to help me with my reading, writing, or simply trying to be focused. For the record, my favorite songs change over time. I do not have one song or two that I like for a long time.

Day 9: write about happiness

I used to think that happiness lies in destination. I thought it was a goal. We always want to gain happiness. We strive to obtain the state of being happy. We want to travel here and there to feel happy. We want to have someone who can make us happy. We work hard 9 to 5 so that we can have money for buying things that can make ourselves happier. We want to be successful so that we can give more happiness to ourselves and perhaps to our parents.

As I grow older, I realize that happiness should not be all about purpose. It lies in the processes. My true happiness comes in enjoying every moments I have. The joy of being in a trip beats the joy of knowing that I have reached a certain place. The process of building happiness inside myself first beats the idea that someone will make me happy. The pleasure of being able to do what I love in my workplace beats the fact that I have to wake up to the same tasks everyday. The excitement of improving myself beats the thought of becoming a successful person. I no longer put my happiness in some kind of destination I should reach. It ought to be in every processes that I am going through. It is here; it is now.

Day 10: your best friend

I do not have many friends but when I do, I can make sure that they are worthy. I tend to keep my circle small yet meaningful. I believe friends are the ones God has sent to us for some reasons. You can read my whole perception about friends and friendships here :)

Day 11: talk about your siblings

My oldest brother is a clumsy guy. He fell asleep when he was riding a motorbike with me on the backseat and hit a public car and we got scolded by the driver. We were lucky it was not a big crash. Yet, he is the most generous to the other siblings. My second oldest brother is the boldest one. He punched someone in the face for talking bad about our family. Somehow he is the most caring among us. I remember he held my hand when we were crossing street on the way to our elementary school. A pedicab driver thought we were a couple in a puppy love. My younger sister has the freest soul. She probably won’t hear or obey you unless she wants, yet she stays with me in the house when I said I need a company. She hears me.

We are all different. We barely show love as much as any other siblings would probably do, but I believe the love between us is always there and will always be.

Day 12: favorite tv series

How I Met Your Mother, for sure! Despite the controversial ending, I love seeing how strong the friendship they share there. I love every life lessons conveyed through this series. I adore how every actors plays their roles nicely, especially Neil Patrick Harris as that marvelous Barney Stinson. He is legen…(wait for it)…dary!

I don’t remember the details of the story but I remember how much I enjoyed binge-watching it. And, oh, Sherlock is my next favorite.

Day 13: favorite book

The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer was the first book series that made me love reading fictions. I read Breaking Dawn — the 800-somewhat-pages novel, the last book of the series— in just two days. I read it twice, just so you know. A week after, I had to start wearing glasses which I regret later. For nonfiction, I would pick Quiet by Susan Cain. This book has changed the way I think about the strengths I have as an introvert. You can read the short review here on my Instagram page!

Day 14: describe your style

If we are talking about style in terms of fashion, I must say: I have a bad taste in fashion. I do not really follow the newest trend. I do not even think that I have style at all. All I know is that I love dark and earthy neutral colors: black, gray, navy blue, brown, khaki, nude. And dusty pink, sometimes. I like everything minimalist. No glitter, no bright colors, no anything catchy. I would choose clothes with comfortable material over the fashionable ones. Of course it’d be better if I can have both. So if you are asking me to describe my style, this is all I can do. Thank you.

Day 20: your celebrity crush

Benedict Cumberbatch! I first fell in love with him from Sherlock. I am not a big fan of detective/crime/mystery genres even though I read Agatha Christie. Somehow he played Sherlock way too well. He got all of this genius, emotionless, unpredictable vibes on him. I would even replay the first episode of the first season just to watch him saying: “The name’s Sherlock Holmes and the address is 221B Baker Street”. That’s my favorite scene ever.

I haven’t watched all of his movies but I enjoyed Patrick Melrose, Doctor Stranger, The Imitation Game, and Avengers as well (wow I remember these movies actually). I wish him a good and joyful life!

Day 21: write about LOVE

To me, love is all about feeling and decision. You can either have the feeling first and decide to do something about it; or you might get the chance first and let the feeling grow. It is indeed a gift, but it takes work, courage, and willingness to grow and nurture love. I believe it may be vanished one day. Even so, love will never fade away without leaving legacies. Sometimes it leaves a commitment between two lovers, a believe between people, a lesson from what is done, or simply affection among humans. To love and be loved are two precious things we can have. Be grateful for that. Sometimes we are just too blind to see and too numb to feel it while in fact, love is everywhere.

Day 22: write about today

Today didn’t go as well as I had wished. I thought it would be just a regular Monday with extra time to do this and that in between work, but no. This morning, I suddenly got an unpredictable task which consumed my whole day and energy. I didn’t have time to read the materials I should have read before my class begin. My cat went missing again today. I was feeling quite feeble and tired during the day.

The best thing I have today is that I got a chance to write this. Be that as it may, I still feel grateful for what I have learned over and over again: bad day does not mean a bad life. I always know taking time and embracing all of the moments, the processes, and the feelings is essential no matter how bad it can get. I understand that all feelings are valid. Feeling bad about today is not a sin.

I hope you were good with yours today.

Day 23: a letter to someone, anyone

Dear you,

If one day you read this, I hope you are doing well. As well as you have always been trying. Life is tough sometimes, and you know that. Life is tough but so are you. You have got a countless moments of despair, exhaustion, regret, and self-doubt, but you know you never run. No matter how hard you fall, you always stand tall and face it all. It is because you know even after all of those bad feelings, there is always something worth the struggles. You worth the battles. You deserve what you have been fighting for.

So dear you, please take a good care of yourself. Have courage and be kind, always. I hope you always be healthy and feel grateful to read this letter you wrote on the 23rd day.

Day 24: write about a lesson you’ve learned

I know this might sound like a broken record, but I will never stop telling you this: put your best effort to do self-love. I repeat: self-love. I’ve learned this hard way.

I have so many reasons to tell you why I am really into this matter. Of all of those reasons, I just want to say that self-love is the fundamental of any other loves you may have. You can love your family, your spouse, your job, or your life, but none of these will really fall into places until you are aware about how deep the love you have for yourself.

Self-love can be many things. There are so many guidances on how to love ourselves, but we can always start with a simple self-affirmation: I accept who I am and eager to discover more and most about myself.

Day 25: something inspired of the 11th image on your phone

This photo was taken on September 11, 2017. Not exactly the 11th image on my phone but I want to share something about this. That day, I went to the Indonesian House of Representatives (DPR RI) with my boss — a brilliant, independent woman with PhD in her late thirties. I remember she asked me, a diploma fresh-graduate and a newcomer to her division, to accompany her attending a meeting. For a fresh-grad, attending that kind of meeting is rather amazing. I felt like I was cool back then even though I barely understand what they were talking about. All I remember is that she and I had lunch together, shared many stories, and talked about the importance of giving the best in everything we do. I remember she said:

"No matter where you are placed, if you are good with what you do and always try to give your best shot, people will always know that. People will recognize your ability and chances are they will seek for you".

Day 26: your school

I am not the type of a person who will say that she misses her high school life. I love schooling. I always love the idea of getting education. Nevertheless, I don’t think I ever miss my high school life (many people do, don’t they?).

My high school was not the number one, but it was and is still one of the best school in town and I am proud of it. It had taught me many things. I learned beyond knowledge from within the four walls or from books. I learned about leadership, about speaking up, about believing that I can be whatever I want. I learned deeper about friendships, dreams, and life. I don’t miss it, yet I am grateful for the time I have spent there. That was one of my golden years in life.

Day 27: someone who inspires me

I got inspired by many people. My parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, or even strangers easily inspired me in their own ways. I can name them one by one, but I will go with two teachers whose words are so imposing that it helped me find value in life.

First, my civics' teacher in high school named Mrs. Elinda. Besides my mother and Nelson Mandela’s quotes, she is the one who sincerely told me (told the students in class, for the record) how essential it is to have education.

She said: "Only education can alleviate poverty".

I remember clearly how she said it so vibrantly with her fiery eyes and hand pointing to the ceiling. This was one of the things that encouraged me to fight for the best Economics major back then: for having the best education I can and diving deeper into why people have to suffer from poverty.

Second, my English teacher in college. I forget his name, but I still can picture how he looked and how the class situation was. He is a very humble person despite the achievements and experiences he had. He liked to tell stories and give advices, and this one stick to my mind until now:

"Live a sufficient life. Ask sufficiency to God that whenever you want or need something, He will provide you adequately. Always try to have the feeling of being enough with what you have and what you need. Do not let yourself become enslaved by the worldly things".

These two teachers are the ones who implicitly convinced me that I want to be a teacher — an educator — one day. For I know that teaching is not just able to fill one's mind with knowledge; it can also touch one's heart, spread kindness, and even change a life.

Day 30: write about what do you feel when you write.

Besides reading and cooking, writing is my favorite way to practice mindfulness and enjoy my me-time to the most. It is like diving into my own mind, exploring things that are on my mind but have never been brave enough to come out. Writing is like talking with my own self, only in a more structured and a deeper way. I tend to take a quite long time to compose a writing, since I believe the true writing is a sacred process between ourselves and what we really have in mind.

The thing is, I am fully aware that I lack on consistency when it comes to writing. I didn’t even write this post exactly in 30 days. It is hard for me to regularly write because I always need to take much time. Still, I will do my best to learn more and most about writing.